What was supposedly to be uploaded on my birthday (29th August) did not go online or get published on my birthday at all. I had a lot of feelings going on the night before my birthday (28th August) so I wanted to document the last few hours of me being 18, as cliche as it sounded. The night got better so eventually I decided not to let it go online. (if you want to read my emotional thoughts, then the password is documentedbirthday)
This hit me on my birthday. I really wanted to let the people who impacted my life to know how grateful I was for them. They have changed me and helped me in the times where I have been at my lowest. One person came to my mind was my mentor. I know that there were many other people who had made an impact in my life. But I owed it to her because despite my brokeness, she picked me up. He sent her at the right time and right moment.
My mentor. I am, to be honest, a challenging mentee for her. I sensed it and I know it. I am probably the most liberal and craziest and a disobedient child of God. The sort where, you’d look at and shake your head with a sigh. (Well you wouldn’t know it just by meeting me, you’d know it when I open my life to you. And when I did, I feel like I am a horrible person ha ha)
I love how she challenges me into thinking about my intentions as to why I do things or think of things in a certain way. She never fails to push me to get to the root of the problem or thought. Maybe because she really was meant to be a lawyer. She taught me to be a person of depth. I know I am not the most hardcore, holiest Christian she mentors, but I just thank God for having a ‘mother-like’ figure to guide me, listen to me and understand my feelings. She has pointed out areas of my life that needed conviction. I just know that I could be accountable to her because she was just THE ONE.
She never tells me something is wrong even if she feels strongly against it, because she knows that we are all different and God convicts us differently. She respects my beliefs and accepts my flaws and builds me up. Words really cannot describe how great a person she is. Being one of the most discerning figures in church, I think you can’t not be scared of her? But she is a woman of spiritual authority that I am honoured to be under.
With all her work that piles up monthly, I admire her passion for God yet be able to serve her kids. She has been the best role model for me even though I am so far behind her. Just being close and around her, and having her as my shepherd, is enough to know that He is watching over me and He has sent me someone reliable to fall back on. She has seen the ugliest side of me and honestly I am so vulnerable to her that it has been the best thing that has happened for my 18th. Now that I am 19 I am walking on the right path, I should give back. And I will.
Well, excited for next year to start too, because I am so sure He has something in store for us.