43) earlier

regrets, hanging head down low

– or maybe not to that extent.

there’s no point in grieving on what has already happened. but i guess worries just trickle in whenever i just sit and realize that the grades aren’t up to my expectations. thinking about where i can go to with what i have. researched on all the possible schools that would take an average student in. it is selfish when other students get it off to a better start, in fact maybe where ever they go to they make it big and do well. is it comforting to know that it isn’t the working world yet? and probably there is a chance somehow, one day i will be in love with the work i’m thrown to work on?

no point using the words ‘wish’, the magic lamp doesn’t exist in this world. i need to rely more on God and know that everything is planned, every single detail. the bit about how long my nails grow each day to how much hair is going to fall off my scalp every year. even the mistakes i make, as well as the house i will live in next time. trust, faith, in God.

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