But whenever I feel like so much bitterness is going through my head, I think about what I learned from yesterday’s QT. I think I can be very proud, which makes me so selfish in my thoughts. I really want to be the refined gold that God wants us to be. I would say what He has put me through right now (this whole envy situation that i am not going to state what) is just a trial, and I am trying so hard, with difficulty to maintain my composure and just surrender it.

I have not done QT since January. After reading the first chapter (Bait of Satan by John Bevere), I was so enlightened, and the feeling of being able to relate to text is, just surreal. I can never thank Sister Adora enough for lending me this book. I have so much more to discover, and I like to use this analogy.

It feels like, I have just retrieved my heart from the dirt ground, during these cold hard months, my heart has probably corroded, but I am using my archaeologist toothbrush (God’s word) to brush off the dirt, and to come upon Him to be ready to accept His teachings again. Its a good feeling yknw, to let the warmth enter and be able to come clean and fresh to Him. A very nice feeling indeed, I think it just takes an initiative step from us.

The current verse that reminds me of how we are the ones that has to take initiative, is from Revelations 3:19-20
” Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. ” it goes on, but I will stop here.
What touches my heart is, when God says, ” Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. ” Its like, God is actually already waiting for you and I. Its whether you hear it and respond to it that matters. & if you do, good news, I will come in. He did not say, I will come in and rebuke and discipline you, He said He will eat with you. Not just with you, but you with Him! It works both ways, God is not just coming in as a high authority person, He comes in as a friend. How amazing? This scripture just says so much, amen.

I think what people need is Faith in God. Not faith in man anymore, after whatever’s going through in the news and on the social media, people need to stop commenting already. Focus your eyes on God would you? Follow what your heart tells you, what the Holy Spirit prompts you to do.

Ultimately, its God you’re following, not the pastors. 


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