018 comfort words

I don’t know whether to believe this, and I wish I could but, really? I ask myself, fate? Being a Christian I know almost nothing about fate, I mean I never really learned about fate/destiny. I merely just know I should surrender everything to God. But sometimes when one is just so hopeless in love, we’ll read this to comfort ourselves. And I choose to believe in this statement. I guess its those “comfort words”, something to make me feel good about life when I actually feel hopeless?

So yeah, right now this quote from Water for Elephants is making me feel better to not worry about what’s in store. Because I sorta just viewed like M’s blog and I am thinking about the past I had w G. Which makes me feel awful, and to just never step into the blog again. I had it, but I lost it. I feel like I was the cause of it, although I knew it wasn’t really me to blame. But I wish and wish I held on tighter.

You know, at the end of the day, I guess I have it figured out. Fate is what is also called or known as, God’s plan. I know He knows everything that is going to happen in my life. So why not just trust the plan He has. But I really don’t like to call it destiny, or fate. I just seems so flimsy to trust, its like as if someone that sits in the tallest building in the world, with no life just typing your destiny as a story teller. God’s plan it is. God’s trusted plan.

Almost everytime when I feel miserable about my life, well not that I am a melancholic thinking that life is meaningless, but I am a worrier. I worry about my future career, my passion really lies in writing, but I think about the competition I have now in school and in the future. What if I don’t get to do what I really want to do? Then I think about who I will end up with. Love is such an ass and a complicated thing that I don’t even want to ponder so much about it.

Will I be happy next time? About my life…

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